Hi, everyone, and thank you so much for reading my blog!
As you know, I have pledged to go 30 days without spending any money at all, except for the necessary household expenses. And so far, I have had just a couple of slip ups, where the deals (25 dollar Uggs!) or the temptation (Hangry [hungry/angry after a hot day at the Renaissance Fair!) was too strong. But today, I opted out of a day of shopping with a friend, which saved me. I am certain I would have been able to fabricate a number of excuses, reasons to make purchases... "Oh, it was the last one!" or "But the deal - it was only valid for one day!!" Yeah, I am very good at that.
What I learning is that not spending is a personal choice that I made, which is very difficult for me. It has made me contemplate nearly every single action I take, since so much of what I was doing was automatic. I was truly on autopilot, not even really or truly seeing the money I was spending. Blind to it, really, not even seeing the tiny here-and-there expenses as actual expenses at all. I do wonder if I struggle with a legitimate shopping addition, because I do really crave the shopping, and I do tend to shop to replace negative feelings with positive ones... And I am extremely good at justifying my behaviors, just as another type of addict might... Well that is certainly food for thought. Anyway, it has been simultaneously empowering and aggravating to experience this, and so I am coining this sensation as "Schrodinger's Budget", as to explain the duality of this....
And so, I am thinking that if I am lucky, after this 30 day experiment, this self-awareness, and this spending "addiction" will become a habit. I am hoping that I don't binge, like that dieter who hits her goal weight, and then goes off the rails... And with Christmas just around the corner, this is a real risk.
But I know that I have the support and friendships to help me through it. It has been hard, but very enlightening. For me, and I think for my family. I hope that the benefit will show up when reviewing my checking account, but so far, that hasn't been as positively impacted as I had hoped. But we shall see....
Well that is it for me today... No spending, just cooking homemade turkey soup.... Gotta do something with my time instead of shopping, right? Yesterday was from-scratch chocolate chip cookies... Still working on how to better replace bad habits with good, healthy ones...
Thank you for reading, and have a great night! xo
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