Monday, November 24, 2014

Day 19 - OMG when will this end??

Hi, everyone, and thank you so much for reading... I really appreciate it... Tonight, you will be sensing a slightly different tone, as my mood about money has slightly soured... 

I am not gonna lie... this is torture.  This feels like punishment, this feels like I am being penalized... I hate it.  I want to buy something, I want to go Christmas shopping!  I want to buy plane tickets!!

I want to end this whole stupid project.  I am still a money disaster.  I still paid my bills and still, without going crazy like I might have normally done, still managed to eff up and miss something, and over draw my account!  So what purpose is this serving?

Sorry, but I am feeling down tonight.  I am feeling like I am on a diet that will never end, and I can't help but wonder... do people live like this all the time?

I have always been more of a "live for today" kinda girl, an "it will all work out" type... Now I feel constricted, my arms tied down.... I mean, not to be mellow dramatic, but what if someone saves all their extra money, has it all in a bank or under a mattress or something, and then they get hit by a bus?  They haven't lived their life fully,  haven't enjoyed the fruits of their labor!  I work hard, and I want to enjoy my fruit?  Is that so wrong?  As she said in "Confessions of a Shop-a-holic", "I've got to either earn more or spend less".... And my goal was to just earn more so that I can live how I like....

I once dated a guy (no other details will be shared to protect the crazy), who tried to teach me the value of living below your means.... And I get it... I do... We did the math, and if we had somehow managed to live his life style and essentially save all of our money, we would have been millionaires within 5 years... But seriously, is a bank account like that really worth having no fun at all??   Living in a hovel in a building without a doorman in NYC?  Really?  Spend it while you can!  Live a little!  Yes!!  

So here I sit, fruitless...New-shoeless... flight-ticketless... 

What do you think?  I know, you were not expecting this one... 

Thank you for reading!  xo 

No comments:

Post a Comment