Hi everyone, and thank you for reading...It has been a long and hard year, but as I write this, I am reminded of all that I have for which I am immensely grateful.
I have a wonderful family. I am truly blessed with family who is always here for me and who love me unconditionally.... while there is physical distance between us, there is never any emotional distance.... my family who has meant more to me than they know, through their consistent love and sharing.....
And my friends, my wonderful, loyal friends who get me, and who accept me even though I am a chronic idiot and I can't listen to their excellent advice, my friends, near and far, my friends, beautiful, honest and accepting of my flaws....
If you have read my blog, you know that I had a rough financial year, but rather than judge me, you read and shared your thoughts and ideas... I want to sort out my challenges with money, and am striving to do so. Next year will be a journey to that end, and I am committed to continuing the effort. I have to really, I have no choice. I cannot continue on in this manner.
So I will continue to rely on you, my friends and family, as I go through this and try, try try to improve. Specifically, I will try to:
- Focus less on "things"
- Focus more on people and "being"
- Write more in a meaningful way
- Plan better in terms of money
- Budget and manage
- Resist the urges that overwhelm me
I know, there is no try, there is only do or do not... I get it... But we all have goals, and we don't always meet them... The best we can do is pick ourselves up over and over again....
In terms of the money issue, as you all know, Christmas came and I sort of blew it. All that I had learned and practiced went completely out the window. I am now below where I was before, in terms of my finances. But that is ok... that is why I am continuing the blog, the process, and journey into self discovery. I feel like I was starting to peel the onion, and stopped just at the 30 day project end - but that there was more to learn. So here I am, wiping the slate clean, going back to the lions den of money and finance, lol...
OK, that's it for now... More to come! Happy New Year, and thank you for reading! xo
Monday, December 29, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Mission Failure
Hi again! I am back. As promised, I have not gone away. And since my last post, I am not proud of what I have done. So, I thought let me share what has gone on, what I am up to, and how my foolishness continues....
OK, so I did the 30 day thing, and only spent 90 dollars. I feared, as I mentioned, that I would immediately fall into my old ways once it was over. Once I was no longer under the obligation of my commitment, I was worried that all I had learned would be lost. And yes, I was correct. I have been acting like a drunken sailor on shore leave. I have paid my bills, or most of them... not all. And it is all my fault. I don't really understand why, except for maybe the restraint of the 30 day project felt too constricting. Kinda like when people go on those water and juice diets, and then can't maintain the 10 lbs they lost because they are longing for real food. Extremities, I think, are dangerous. Perhaps I had been too extreme. But it was an experiment, and I did think I had learned a lot. Yet I went and dove in head first to some icy cold, shark filled waters of mistakes...
Mistake number 1: I shopped even though I knew I didn't have the money in my account, leaving me overdrawn. Yup. Causing me further overdrafts, and one helluva nightmare.
Mistake number 2: Shopping before bills were paid.
Mistake number 3: After buying things on the Christmas list, still buying more things because they were really perfect gifts too.... I mean, some deals I just could not pass up.
Ah yes, Christmas. That is the reason! I am sure had I started this experiment at any other time of the year, the results would have been different. Right?? Yeah, I know, I am not so sure either.
Maybe now that I have it all out of my system, it will be ok? I can't say for sure. I don't really know how to pick up the pieces at this point. All I can say for sure is that I clearly have more learning to do, more goals to achieve, and more, lots more work to do on myself. I do think that after Christmas is over, I will be in a better place to take a deep breath and really focus on things for the long term rather than the short term.
What do you think?
More to come... Thank you so much for reading and supporting... xo
OK, so I did the 30 day thing, and only spent 90 dollars. I feared, as I mentioned, that I would immediately fall into my old ways once it was over. Once I was no longer under the obligation of my commitment, I was worried that all I had learned would be lost. And yes, I was correct. I have been acting like a drunken sailor on shore leave. I have paid my bills, or most of them... not all. And it is all my fault. I don't really understand why, except for maybe the restraint of the 30 day project felt too constricting. Kinda like when people go on those water and juice diets, and then can't maintain the 10 lbs they lost because they are longing for real food. Extremities, I think, are dangerous. Perhaps I had been too extreme. But it was an experiment, and I did think I had learned a lot. Yet I went and dove in head first to some icy cold, shark filled waters of mistakes...
Mistake number 1: I shopped even though I knew I didn't have the money in my account, leaving me overdrawn. Yup. Causing me further overdrafts, and one helluva nightmare.
Mistake number 2: Shopping before bills were paid.
Mistake number 3: After buying things on the Christmas list, still buying more things because they were really perfect gifts too.... I mean, some deals I just could not pass up.
Ah yes, Christmas. That is the reason! I am sure had I started this experiment at any other time of the year, the results would have been different. Right?? Yeah, I know, I am not so sure either.
Maybe now that I have it all out of my system, it will be ok? I can't say for sure. I don't really know how to pick up the pieces at this point. All I can say for sure is that I clearly have more learning to do, more goals to achieve, and more, lots more work to do on myself. I do think that after Christmas is over, I will be in a better place to take a deep breath and really focus on things for the long term rather than the short term.
What do you think?
More to come... Thank you so much for reading and supporting... xo
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Day 30 - Mission Accomplished!!
Hello, all and thank you once again.... I really truly appreciate you for reading and sharing this.... It has been a hard and interesting experience, and yesterday was Day 30 - the final day of this experiment.
My Day 29 post was about how much I saved in comparison to what I might have otherwise spent.... Quite revealing. Day 30 is about what I've learned, and what I fear....
This is what I mean...
Autopilot: I learned that I was living my life on autopilot. Doing, shopping, buying, spending, without even thinking or blinking an eye... To me, that was the biggest eye opener to me... not just that I do it, but to what degree. So what I fear now, is that because I had made that pledge, I fear that I will be all like, Yay! I did it, and now I can spend! I fear I will lose that awareness and consciousness about spending money. I fear that "Oh, it's only 1.99, so ok" will begin to process itself in my head again, and I have to really be diligent about that. Tough one for me...
Saying No: I found my voice. I say no now, and I am comfortable with it, and it is now also understood that when I say no regarding money, I mean no regarding money. What I fear is that since it is well established that this was a 30 day experiment, that my family will have different expectations about life. But I think that this was also an eye opening experience for them as well. They saw the money that we were all pouring down the drain each month, and I think they understand that this change, albeit not as drastic, still has to change... We have to keep it up.
Preparedness: I have to be prepared for long days away from home with protein bars and such in my bag at all times. I have to bring my water bottle with me where I go, rather than buying the 6 dollar Fuji water - which, I do not care what people say, is actually the best tasting water in the world... I think I would drink water all day long if I had access that at expensive crap! But I digress... I have to have quick, easy meals available for those late evenings when I am too tired to cook. I have to do things that were suggested such as prepare meals and freeze them, or similar... I fear that I will not have the time to do this, because I already do not have (or make) the time to do other things that I know are healthy and beneficial to me.
So these are the things I have learned, and am still struggling with in some way. This is not a 30-day-and-quit activity. The reason I started this to begin with is because I was drowning and I needed to take action desperately. What I did really had to be done. I had to stop the bleeding. Next, I have to dig into my monthly bills and see what I can reduce there. I am already suffering with basic cable as it is, so I do not know what else I can cut... But I am sure I can streamline things if I really look.
As a result of all of this, I have decided that I am not stopping. I am going to keep the spend-free mindset, and continue the blog. The blog won't be daily, but it will be a regular account of my journey to what I hope will ultimately be financial health. I hope that you will continue to read, and as you have, continue to share your ideas and thoughts - because they have really truly helped me, as has your support. This was not easy, as you can tell from some of my more shall we say whiny posts, lol...
So thank you, and I hope you continue reading and taking this crazy journey with me! That's all for Day 30, yay!! Bye for now, I am going Christmas shopping before my Amazon shopping cart expires!! xo
My Day 29 post was about how much I saved in comparison to what I might have otherwise spent.... Quite revealing. Day 30 is about what I've learned, and what I fear....
This is what I mean...
Autopilot: I learned that I was living my life on autopilot. Doing, shopping, buying, spending, without even thinking or blinking an eye... To me, that was the biggest eye opener to me... not just that I do it, but to what degree. So what I fear now, is that because I had made that pledge, I fear that I will be all like, Yay! I did it, and now I can spend! I fear I will lose that awareness and consciousness about spending money. I fear that "Oh, it's only 1.99, so ok" will begin to process itself in my head again, and I have to really be diligent about that. Tough one for me...
Saying No: I found my voice. I say no now, and I am comfortable with it, and it is now also understood that when I say no regarding money, I mean no regarding money. What I fear is that since it is well established that this was a 30 day experiment, that my family will have different expectations about life. But I think that this was also an eye opening experience for them as well. They saw the money that we were all pouring down the drain each month, and I think they understand that this change, albeit not as drastic, still has to change... We have to keep it up.
Preparedness: I have to be prepared for long days away from home with protein bars and such in my bag at all times. I have to bring my water bottle with me where I go, rather than buying the 6 dollar Fuji water - which, I do not care what people say, is actually the best tasting water in the world... I think I would drink water all day long if I had access that at expensive crap! But I digress... I have to have quick, easy meals available for those late evenings when I am too tired to cook. I have to do things that were suggested such as prepare meals and freeze them, or similar... I fear that I will not have the time to do this, because I already do not have (or make) the time to do other things that I know are healthy and beneficial to me.
So these are the things I have learned, and am still struggling with in some way. This is not a 30-day-and-quit activity. The reason I started this to begin with is because I was drowning and I needed to take action desperately. What I did really had to be done. I had to stop the bleeding. Next, I have to dig into my monthly bills and see what I can reduce there. I am already suffering with basic cable as it is, so I do not know what else I can cut... But I am sure I can streamline things if I really look.
As a result of all of this, I have decided that I am not stopping. I am going to keep the spend-free mindset, and continue the blog. The blog won't be daily, but it will be a regular account of my journey to what I hope will ultimately be financial health. I hope that you will continue to read, and as you have, continue to share your ideas and thoughts - because they have really truly helped me, as has your support. This was not easy, as you can tell from some of my more shall we say whiny posts, lol...
So thank you, and I hope you continue reading and taking this crazy journey with me! That's all for Day 30, yay!! Bye for now, I am going Christmas shopping before my Amazon shopping cart expires!! xo
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Day 29 - Yup, Day 29!
Hi everyone, and thank you for reading and sharing!
Can you believe it is almost here?? I mean, wow.... Let's see how well I did. Overall, my pledge was to spend zero dollars in 30 days. Well, I did not actually hit this goal 100%. However, if we look at it via percentages, let's look. Yes, let's do the math!!
30 days
2 break down purchases
= .06 of my experiment period where I spent money, not too bad!!
Over the course of these 2 breakdowns, I spent just under $100. $66 for lunch at Chili's, and $25 for Uggs. Now, let's hypothetically look at the similar expenses in a similar window of time. Hmmm.... let's see. In one recent month, I calculated unplanned expenses in the area of $700. And that was not a Christmas month. Another month during this year, the number was way higher... Like $1300 higher!! One different month saw me and my family spend an unaccounted for $1250. Shall I continue, or do you get the drift? Even if we conservatively estimate that I would have normally spent $1000 unaccounted for money during this month, that means I am ahead by at least $900. Also, not too bad. If we are still doing the math, using those numbers, I only spend 1% of what I might have. And if we are being honest, then we know that number would have been much higher.
But is that fair? Is it fair to say, "Look at the damage I could have caused!"? I dunno. Maybe. I think so. Because while I was not perfect in this challenge, I was far more creative, innovative and resourceful than I could have imagined. I was good for 99.94% of the time, which is darn good! So while there were some minor infractions, I am going to go out on a limb and call this a success!
What do you think? More to come on the end of this project tomorrow! That's all for now!
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! See ya tomorrow! xo
Can you believe it is almost here?? I mean, wow.... Let's see how well I did. Overall, my pledge was to spend zero dollars in 30 days. Well, I did not actually hit this goal 100%. However, if we look at it via percentages, let's look. Yes, let's do the math!!
30 days
2 break down purchases
= .06 of my experiment period where I spent money, not too bad!!
Over the course of these 2 breakdowns, I spent just under $100. $66 for lunch at Chili's, and $25 for Uggs. Now, let's hypothetically look at the similar expenses in a similar window of time. Hmmm.... let's see. In one recent month, I calculated unplanned expenses in the area of $700. And that was not a Christmas month. Another month during this year, the number was way higher... Like $1300 higher!! One different month saw me and my family spend an unaccounted for $1250. Shall I continue, or do you get the drift? Even if we conservatively estimate that I would have normally spent $1000 unaccounted for money during this month, that means I am ahead by at least $900. Also, not too bad. If we are still doing the math, using those numbers, I only spend 1% of what I might have. And if we are being honest, then we know that number would have been much higher.
But is that fair? Is it fair to say, "Look at the damage I could have caused!"? I dunno. Maybe. I think so. Because while I was not perfect in this challenge, I was far more creative, innovative and resourceful than I could have imagined. I was good for 99.94% of the time, which is darn good! So while there were some minor infractions, I am going to go out on a limb and call this a success!
What do you think? More to come on the end of this project tomorrow! That's all for now!
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! See ya tomorrow! xo
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Day 28 - Counting Down!!
Hi everyone, and thank you so much for reading and sharing! OMG, can you believe this project is almost over? I really cannot believe it. It's so bizarre, if feels like I just started!
Today was very uneventful. Again, I worked all day, and did therefore, it was easier for me to be safe. I did, though, spend my lunch break on amazon.com.... However, everything is just in my shopping cart, and I just hope it stays there until this is done in a few days!
Having said that, I was better prepared for things like oh, dinner, where I took out the last meager frozen package of chicken breast early in the morning so it would be ready for dinner time. Sure enough, when work was over and the fam was getting hungry, I was just thinking, "OMG, please let me go to bed!", just wiped out - remember, still not 100% from the illness on Monday. And then, I realized that the hard part was done, I had already figured out what to make. I said, "Just brown the chicken, you are halfway home".... And then I did, and within 30 minutes later, we all enjoyed a nice dinner of chicken, with a rice side dish, and peas.... Not too shabby! It was good, and it was rewarding because I didn't feel as stressed about it, and didn't even consider, not for a moment, ordering in. Not even when I wanted to go to bed. And for me, that is huge, that is really a huge thing, I think. The thought process seems better in different situations, and the better I manage those situations, the better off I will be.... or something like that!
Anyway, that is it for now... More to come over lessons learned through this experience over the next couple of days!
Thank you so much!! xo
Today was very uneventful. Again, I worked all day, and did therefore, it was easier for me to be safe. I did, though, spend my lunch break on amazon.com.... However, everything is just in my shopping cart, and I just hope it stays there until this is done in a few days!
Having said that, I was better prepared for things like oh, dinner, where I took out the last meager frozen package of chicken breast early in the morning so it would be ready for dinner time. Sure enough, when work was over and the fam was getting hungry, I was just thinking, "OMG, please let me go to bed!", just wiped out - remember, still not 100% from the illness on Monday. And then, I realized that the hard part was done, I had already figured out what to make. I said, "Just brown the chicken, you are halfway home".... And then I did, and within 30 minutes later, we all enjoyed a nice dinner of chicken, with a rice side dish, and peas.... Not too shabby! It was good, and it was rewarding because I didn't feel as stressed about it, and didn't even consider, not for a moment, ordering in. Not even when I wanted to go to bed. And for me, that is huge, that is really a huge thing, I think. The thought process seems better in different situations, and the better I manage those situations, the better off I will be.... or something like that!
Anyway, that is it for now... More to come over lessons learned through this experience over the next couple of days!
Thank you so much!! xo
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Day 27 - Sick and Staying Strong!
Hi everyone, and thank you so much for reading and sharing!!
So, you may have noticed that I didn't blog yesterday. I was sooooo sick, I mean, sick like in muscle aches, fever, the works... I laid in bed all day, slept it off, and then still slept all night long... My apologies for not getting it out, and I hope you understand.
And with a day of sickness like that, you know that the next day is never 100%... In fact, I still feel pretty crappy. But I was able to work today, which honestly, just wore me out. As you can imagine, after work I just crashed in my room with audible.com listening to books. I was to tired to even hold up my tablet to read. Of course, this was also dinner time. Who thinks of dinner and what to have? Me! Always me....Sick me, tired me, weak me.
At around 6:00, we were all hungry and the longer we sat around doing nothing about it, the easier it became to agree to this, "Mom, you are so tired, you shouldn't have to cook... Let's just get some take out". So simple, so logical. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say. Once again, my auto pilot brain agreed. Yup, I did, I said yes, and even went so far as to say yes to "KFC".... Yum, it's savory deliciousness just seemed so comforting on such a night of ickyness.
But then (trumpet sounds), I snapped to it! "No", I shouted! "No, No KFC, we are not spending any money!" While for me, it seemed as though I was awakening from a bad dream and catching myself in time, to the family it seemed the exact opposite. They too had mouths watering for that tender fried chicken. And they were none too happy to lose out on what they were expecting.
Sadly, we have not been to the supermarket in a while, and have little in the cupboards, or freezer for that matter..... And being a good Italian girl, it pains me to admit this - my dinner was pasta with jarred vodka sauce... I mean, I can make a great marinara, so I can't ever by red sauce... But I am not the best vodka sauce maker, so this didn't seem so awful. Yet as I type it, it seems just terrible to admit I fed my family a dinner of jarred sauce, even if that jar was made my Mario Batali of Molto Mario.... Does that offer me some salvation at all? I didn't think so....
Well, we all survived, and I have another spend-free day under my belt!!! And you are right, I need to work on planning meals better, much much better...
That's all for today... thank you for reading, and have a great night! xo
So, you may have noticed that I didn't blog yesterday. I was sooooo sick, I mean, sick like in muscle aches, fever, the works... I laid in bed all day, slept it off, and then still slept all night long... My apologies for not getting it out, and I hope you understand.
And with a day of sickness like that, you know that the next day is never 100%... In fact, I still feel pretty crappy. But I was able to work today, which honestly, just wore me out. As you can imagine, after work I just crashed in my room with audible.com listening to books. I was to tired to even hold up my tablet to read. Of course, this was also dinner time. Who thinks of dinner and what to have? Me! Always me....Sick me, tired me, weak me.
At around 6:00, we were all hungry and the longer we sat around doing nothing about it, the easier it became to agree to this, "Mom, you are so tired, you shouldn't have to cook... Let's just get some take out". So simple, so logical. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say. Once again, my auto pilot brain agreed. Yup, I did, I said yes, and even went so far as to say yes to "KFC".... Yum, it's savory deliciousness just seemed so comforting on such a night of ickyness.
But then (trumpet sounds), I snapped to it! "No", I shouted! "No, No KFC, we are not spending any money!" While for me, it seemed as though I was awakening from a bad dream and catching myself in time, to the family it seemed the exact opposite. They too had mouths watering for that tender fried chicken. And they were none too happy to lose out on what they were expecting.
Sadly, we have not been to the supermarket in a while, and have little in the cupboards, or freezer for that matter..... And being a good Italian girl, it pains me to admit this - my dinner was pasta with jarred vodka sauce... I mean, I can make a great marinara, so I can't ever by red sauce... But I am not the best vodka sauce maker, so this didn't seem so awful. Yet as I type it, it seems just terrible to admit I fed my family a dinner of jarred sauce, even if that jar was made my Mario Batali of Molto Mario.... Does that offer me some salvation at all? I didn't think so....
Well, we all survived, and I have another spend-free day under my belt!!! And you are right, I need to work on planning meals better, much much better...
That's all for today... thank you for reading, and have a great night! xo
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