Mission Failure

Hi again!  I am back.  As promised, I have not gone away.  And since my last post, I am not proud of what I have done.  So, I thought let me share what has gone on, what I am up to, and how my foolishness continues....

OK, so I did the 30 day thing, and only spent 90 dollars.  I feared, as I mentioned, that I would immediately fall into my old ways once it was over.  Once I was no longer under the obligation of my commitment, I was worried that all I had learned would be lost.  And yes, I was correct.  I have been acting like a drunken sailor on shore leave.  I have paid my bills, or most of them... not all.  And it is all my fault.  I don't really understand why, except for maybe the  restraint of the 30 day project felt too constricting.  Kinda like when people go on those water and juice diets, and then can't maintain the 10 lbs they lost because they are longing for real food.   Extremities, I think, are dangerous.  Perhaps I had been too extreme.  But it was an experiment, and I did think I had learned a lot.  Yet I went and dove in head first to some icy cold, shark filled waters of mistakes... 

Mistake number 1:  I shopped even though I knew I didn't have the money in my account, leaving me overdrawn.   Yup.  Causing me further overdrafts, and one helluva nightmare.

Mistake number 2:  Shopping before bills were paid.

Mistake number 3:  After buying things on the Christmas list, still buying more things because they were really perfect gifts too.... I mean, some deals I just could not pass up.

Ah yes, Christmas.  That is the reason!  I am sure had I started this experiment at any other time of the year, the results would have been different.  Right??  Yeah, I know, I am not so sure either.  

Maybe now that I have it all out of my system, it will be ok?  I can't say for sure. I don't really know how to pick up the pieces at this point.  All I can say for sure is that I clearly have more learning to do, more goals to achieve, and more, lots more work to do on myself.  I do think that after Christmas is over, I will be in a better place to take a deep breath and really focus on things for the long term rather than the short term.  

What do you think?  

More to come... Thank you so much for reading and supporting... xo