At least I am not alone!!

Hello, all.... 

So, I saw an old friend over the weekend... we were talking about life and all of it's ups and downs... and we naturally got on the subject of work and money.  She said to me, "Dawn, I just hate it when I can't spend money.  I feel like I am being punished!  I hate that feeling, why is that?"  All I could do is say, "OMG, ME TOO!"  

We were both dumbfounded, yet found comfort in knowing that we are not alone.  So I wonder....is this feeling more common than I realize?  The solution to my friend is to get a second job with a high earning potential so that she can continue to spend as she likes.  And I love her, but boy she is a spender... I mean, I know I am a spender... but my big splurge is likely to be a new MK or Coach bag for 100 at the outlet... Her big splurge?  Last year it was a motor bike for her son and a 4 wheel AV thingy for her daughter..... Spontaneous, on a whim, thousands dropped on 2 huge things that have been used 2 or 3 times at the most...  But I digress.

So let me ask you - how does spending make you feel?  Happy, exhilarated?  Or mad at yourself?  Or others?  I feel like there is a whole rainbow of emotions tied to this.  I would imagine some feel even ashamed if they are spending more than they should, even if this is an imagined "should".  I know certain people who honestly feel like it is bad to spend things on themselves, like that act in itself is something to be punished.  

I have to go to pop psychology on this to ponder questions like, "How do we "use" shopping", "What motivates us to shop", or "what motivates us to not shop".  Freud said that we as humans are drawn to shiny things.  I guess I relate more closely to my cats than I ever realized.  In psychological terms, this is the appeal of luminosity,  which I totally get.... This is why I avoid craft shows where homemade jewelry could bankrupt me.

Then of course, we have emotional spending.  We have compulsive spending.  And we also have idiosyncratic spending, which is also referred to as "soul spending", spending money on those things that fill a void in our souls... But can a person do all 3 at the same time?  And are there more terms for this?  The questions can go on and on.

In the meantime, I am failing miserably at not spending.  First it was Xmas, then it was a big birthday event.... what excuse will befall me next month?

I try...and I thank you all so much for when you continue to remind me that "No, it is not OK to drive up to NJ to see a Barry Manilow concert!!!"  lol....

So I leave you with this question.... is it normal to want?    

Thank you!!  xo