Hello, everyone. Thank you for reading!
So I am really starting to believe that it is pointless... Like, it is above my reach, out of my control.... Because even when I do a good job, I am still punished!
Over the past weekend, I went shopping to buy jeans for the every-growing child. Sidebar - how much do I hate buying new school clothes midway through the school year? Lots!! And my child is a slow grower... how do the fast growers parents do it?? You must be shopping monthly!!
And so, it was busy on the weekend...the stores were crowded, and the ditzy. Actually, I am being kind... She was beyond ditzy... she was slow, she was rude, she wasn't trying to help at all and she seemed to go out of her way to so throw barriers in the way of my spending money in the store... To the point where I actually got sooooo exasperated that I shouted, "Why are you making it so hard for me to spend my money in here?"
It was at that point the manager came over.... It was, however, too late. She had already over charged my DEBIT card by $321.00! It was just awful. A hot, loud, crowded mess of just awful.
They promised me that the transaction had been voided. It wouldn't impact my account at all, they assured me. I wouldn't even see a thing. That's what they said, yes, those folks who wanted nothing more than to see me leave their store. And you can guess where this is headed.... The charge did freeze my account. And if you know me at all, you know that I generally do not have a lot of extra cash in my account, and 321 frozen in my account could be disastrous. And it was. That freeze caused 8 other items to overdraw, and each time, I was charged 36 dollars. By close of business yesterday, as I watched it all snowball before my eyes, my account was overdrawn to the tune of negative 900.... Yup... and see, the thing is.... this time, it was legitimately not my fault! I was being very careful, very very cautiously only spending money when I had to, and using coupons and everything!
Finally, after days of fighting with both the bank and the store, I ultimately was placed back to a state of normal. My account is not overdrawn anymore... But it did really stress me out... And for those days, I wasn't sure if or when I would get how much of my money back.... Which leads me back to my original thought... Am I fated to being eternally frustrated by money issues? No matter how hard I try, I feel like Sisyphus, forever rolling that giant boulder uphill only to watch it roll back down for all of eternity... I then start to wonder, even tough the gods placed Sisyphus in that position as punishment, what if.... what if Sisyphus was happy? Camus thought he must be, because he must have accepted his fate. He had purpose, he understood it.... I know, it's all absurd. I am not Sisyphus, no god placed me in this spot as punishment... I have done it all myself... Still, the week I had makes me question all of it...
What do you think? Are we just who we are?? Was my ability to control my finances just an illusion?
More to come... Thank you so much for reading and sharing! xo
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